Ghost Of You
by StevexBuckyx
Summary: What if Stanley Uris and Bill Denbrough were married when Stan took a bath? Stenbrough Stanley/Bill. M for language and triggers.
1. i miss you

This fic was inspired by Ghost of You by 5sos. Enjoy! Also,,,,, this is an alternate universe where Stanley and Bill were married when Stan took a bath.

* * *

_"Stanley!" Bill banged on the door, "you've been in there for an hour! Are you okay?"_

_There was no reply._

_"Stanley? Stan? I'm coming in!"_

_Bill tried to turn the door knob, but it was locked._

_"This isn't funny, let me in!"_

_Bill walked to his study to get a safety pin. He ran back and immediately started picking the lock. When he heard it break, he pushed the door open. He immediately felt his heart drop. What he saw was terrible. His husband was bleeding from the wrists all over the floor and edge of the bathtub. His body was submerged in red water. Bill glanced up at the wall behind him. The word 'IT' was written in his blood on the wall in what looked like was a struggle._

_"Stan!" Bill yelled._

_He ran straight over to the bath tub and pulled Stanley out. He pulled his jacket off and tried to wrap it around his wrists, but he kept fumbling and dropping the jacket._

_"F-f-fuck. Stanley, p-p-p-please," he cupped his face, 'please d-d-d-don't go."_

_He pulled his phone out his pocket and dialed 911._

_"911, what's your emergency?"_  
_"Please, my husband...he...he's bleeding really bad. H-h-he's not r-r-r-responding. Please h-h-help," he sobbed into the phone._

_Once he finished the call and the ambulance were on their way, he basically threw his phone across the room. He rested his head in Stanley's chest and sobbed. He gripped his tight and didn't ever want to let go._

_"Please Stanley...w-w-w-wake up...please."_

_When the ambulance arrived, he watched them try to resuscitate him. He watched in dread and fear while one of the other paramedics attempted to console him. He felt his heart break when he heard those five dreadful words._

"Call it," the paramedic began, "time of death..."

_Bills ears started ringing as he dropped to his knees. He buried his face in his hands and sobbed loudly, not caring about the others in the room. He felt some hands on his back trying to comfort him, but once again he didn't care. For the first time since he'd met Stanley, his world felt empty, cold and dark._

Bill awoke to a dark room. It must've still been night. He rolled over to drape an arm over Stanley's chest, but he was only met with cold, empty sheets. The realisation of the fact he was truly gone rushed over Bill for the fifth time that week. He slowly pulled him arm back into his chest and hugged himself tight.

Before he could stop himself, a sob escaped his lips. He thought about the many mornings they'd spent together. He thought about he used to accidentally wake Stanley up, but the man wouldn't complain. He would just roll over and hug him as tight as he could. He missed feeling his arm wrapped around him. He missed the soft kisses they'd exchange. He missed their quiet 'I love yous' that were muttered before drifting off to sleep. He missed the little things.

Bill couldn't force himself back to sleep, so he decided to go get some food. He walked down the stairs while wiping tears from his eyes. When he made it into the kitchen, the first thing he noticed was Stanley's coffee mug on the bench. Bill hadn't touched it since Stanley died. He walked over to the cream-coloured mug and gripped the handle. He could almost feel Stanley hug him from behind and whisper in his ear that he was going to be okay. Almost. More tears fell down his cheeks.

"I need to go through his things," he whispered softly to himself, "I can't leave it any longer."

He let him fingers slip from the mug and headed back up the stairs to his bedroom, completely forgetting about eating. He flicked on the light and wandered over to the wardrobe standing in the far corner of the room. Bill hesitantly pulled the doors open to reveal Stanley's clothes neatly hung and sectioned into different colours. It was perfectly organised except for one dark shirt mixed in with all the light blues. He let out one of those small laughs where instead of making noise, you just smile and blow air out of your nose.

He reached forward and grabbed one of the shirt that was out of place. That's when it hit him. It was out of place because Stanley didn't hang it up. It was the shirt he'd left on the toilet seat that night. Bill slowly removed the hanger and dropped it to the ground. He gripped the shirt with both hands, which he didn't realise were shaking until now. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he fell to his knees and held the shirt tight. Bill buried his face into the soft fabric and sobbed louder when he could smell his late husbands cologne.

"So dumb," he whispered through a sob, "so stupid...I should've known not to let you go in there."

_"I can't do this!" Stanley cried, "I can't go back! I just can't!"_  
_"Yes you can, it's okay. We'll be together, we're smarter now, we can defeat It."_  
_"No, you don't understand! It's teeth," his voice got smaller, "...the feeling of it still gives me nightmares...I think about how it felt every single day. I can't go back."_  
_"Stan," Bill grabbed his hand which seemed to calm him down a bit, "it's okay...we'll kill It. Together. If it gets too much, we can always come back here."_

_Stanley took his hand from Bills and cupped his husband's cheeks. He smiled softly before leaning in and locking their lips. They shared a long kiss before Stanley pulled away._

_"I love you Bill," he smiled._  
_"I love you too Stan."_

_Before Bill knew it, Stanley had taken off to the bathroom. He just assumed he was going to take a shower and clear his mind. Oh how he was wrong._

_"I love you too Stan," he whispered into the shirt, "I always will."_

* * *

(A/N) I am thinking of making this into a longer story, showing his recovery after losing Stanley. What do you think?


	2. i see you

Today was the day. Today was Stanleys funeral. Bill had broken down three times that morning before Richie had come to drive him there. Richie offered because he didn't want Bill driving in the state he was in. They sat in the car for a full 10 minutes before Bill was ready to go into the synagogue. He and Richie were the first people to arrive. Next was Mike then Ben and Beverly together. Soon Bill and Stanley's families arrived. They all gave their condolences to Bill, but never asked what actually happened that night. He didn't know if they didn't want to know or if they didn't want to upset Bill. Either way, he was thankful.

After a while of the Rabbi giving speeches from all the family members that didn't want to go up in front of everyone, he invited Bill up to speak.

"Bill Uris would like to say a few words," he smiled as he stepped away from the podium.

Bill got up from his seat and walked up to the front. His hands were shaking, but he hid it by hiding them in his pockets. When he got up in front of everyone, he took a deep breath before beginning.

"Stanley was the best person I ever met," he was already sobbing, "since we were kids I always could count on him. He was the kindest, realest, funniest and most gorgeous person anyone could ever know."

He let out a shaky breath before speaking again.

"Knowing I'm living in a world without him feels cruel. I feel like I took everything away from him that summer I made him swear to go back. It's my fault he's gone and I don't think I will ever forgive myself. I miss him more than anything and I would give up everything I have just to see him one last time."

Everyone was watching him with sad eyes. He stifled a sob before continuing.

"I will never forget finding him in the bathroom. It's something that will haunt me for the rest of my life and I don't know what I'm meant to do because I can't do anything in my house anymore without thinking of him. His clothes are a constant reminder of him, his coffee mug is still on the kitchen bench where he left it and I can't use that bathroom anymore. I can't knowing what happened. I love...him," he struggled to choke out, "and I will for the rest of my life."

He closed his eyes tight and sobbed. Richie got up from where he was seated and ran to his side. He pulled him in close and let Bill sob into his shoulder.

"It's okay," Richie muttered so only he could hear.

Richie ushered Bill away from the microphone and back to his seat.

After the service was over and he'd buried his late-husband, he returned home. He wasn't even sure if he could call it home anymore. It was more like returning to a constant reminder that he had lost the person who meant the most to him. A constant reminder of what he lost. The losers didn't want him to return to this reminder alone, but he refused to let any of them come with him.

He stumbled through the front door. When he closed it behind him, he immediately pressed his back to the wood. Bill slid down until he was sitting with his knees pressed to his chest. He looked over to the living room and saw it. The ghost of them. He knew his mind was playing tricks on him, but he could see it so clearly. He had his head resting against Stanley's chest as they slow danced around their living room.

_"Come on, Billy! It'll be fun!"_  
_"I don't know how to dance."_

_Stanley teasingly pouted, but still held out his hand, waiting for Bill to take it._

_"Hurry up before the song ends."_  
_"Fine."_

_Bill smiled and took his husbands hand then let himself be pulled into his arms. Stanley placed his hands on Bills waist and Bill draped his around his lovers neck. They began to sway to the soft music playing from Stanley's phone. The smaller man smiled, then leant in and kissed Stanley. When they pulled away he smiled again and rested his head on Stanley's chest. The taller man moved his arms so he was now embracing the person he held dearest to his heart._

_"I love you so much," Stanley whispered._  
_"I love you too."_

The images faded so he looked over at the hallway stretched out across to his left. There he saw Stanley carrying him to the stairs emerging from the end of the hall, bridal style after their wedding.

_"You know, you're surprisingly light."_  
_"What's that supposed to mean?"_

_Stanley chuckled and kissed Bill's temple as he began climbing the stairs._

_"I can't believe we're finally married," Stanley smiled._  
_"Well, you better start because I'm never letting you leave."_  
_"Oh yeah? Is that right?"_  
_"Yup."_

_Bill smiled as he bit his bottom lip._

_"You're fucking adorable when you do that. You know that right?" Stanley admired his newly-wed husband as he turned the corner on the stairs._  
_"I know it drives him crazy."_

When the ghosts were out of sight, he moved his eye-line over to the kitchen. Bill was there cooking pancakes as Stanley hovered behind him with his arms wrapped around his waist.

_"Morning, Billy," Stanley said hoarsely as he wrapped his arms around Bill and rested his chin on his lovers shoulder._  
_"Morning, Stan," Bill flipped a pancake._

_Stanley turned his head and kissed Bill's cheek. When Bill smiled, he began showering his cheek and jawline with soft kisses._

_"Hey, do you want me to burn breakfast?" Bill joked._  
_"You're just so gorgeous, I can't help myself."_

_When Stanley went in for another round of kisses, Bill turned his head and leant to the side slightly so their lips met. They shared a long and soft kiss before Bill turned his attention back to the stove. Stanley took his arms away from the man satisfied and headed for the coffee machine._

A tear rolled silently down his cheek as he let his head drop and bury itself in his knees. His silent tears turned to loud sobs which filled the empty shell of a building he used to call home. He almost felt a hand on his shoulder. He almost heard Stanley's voice. He almost felt him hug him. He almost forgot he was gone.

"I shouldn't of let you go in there," he cried softly, "I'm sorry."


	3. you're not real

TW: mentions of suicide, cut wrists, insanity and mental illness.

* * *

Bill knows Stanley isn't coming back, but he still sits at home for hours on end waiting for him to get home from work. It had been two months and he was still broken. He'd started writing a new book, but it had been hard as he kept hearing, seeing and feeling Stanley. He wasn't okay. He felt himself slowly spiraling into insanity and didn't feel comfortable telling anyone about it.

Bill was typing when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked at it and noticed a bloodied wedding ring he knew belonged to Stanley. He turned to look behind him to see his late husband standing there.

_"What'cha writing?" He asked as he bent down and wrapped his arms around Bill's shoulders._  
"I'm writing a novel about what happened to us in Neibolt."  
_"Are you keeping everything the same?"_  
"Yeah. I'm only writing what happened to us in '89."  
_"You should write all of it."_  
"Why?"  
_"Would probably be a bigger hit. Like a coming of age story."_

Out of habit, Bill turned to kiss him on the cheek, but the second his lips made contact, his late husband disappeared. He looked around confused, shook his head and carried on typing, thinking that maybe he was just tired.

Later that day, Bill was sitting on the couch watching tv when he heard a knock at the door. He stood and ran over. He opened the door to see Stanley standing there with a wide smile.

_"I left my key in the bedroom," he smiled, "so I was locked out."_  
"Stan..."  
_"What? You look like you've seen a ghost."_

Bill wrapped his arms around the Stanley only for the ghost to fade into black, thin smoke in his arms. He stepped back and slammed the door. He gripped the sides of his hair and closed his eyes. Bill pressed his back against the door and sunk down.

"I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy," he kept repeating over and over again.  
_"Bill?"_

Stanley's voice cut off his rambling.

"Wh-what?" He looked up to see Stanley standing there.  
_"What are you doing? Get up," Stanley held out his hand._

Bill took it and let the ghost pull him to his feet.

"Why are you doing this to me?"  
_"Doing what?"_  
"You keep appearing! Am I going crazy? You're...you're dead! You're haunting me and I don't know why-"  
_"What are you talking about? I never left? I've always been here."_  
"What?"

Bill's eyes moved down to Stanley's wrists to notice the blood stains on his shirt sleeves kept growing larger. Blood dripped down onto his hand and slowly rolled down his fingers. He focused on the blood as it dropped. The first drop hit the floor and the ghost faded into the black smoke Bill had seen not to long ago.

"I need help," he clutched his hair again, "I need to call someone."

* * *

Bill just needed groceries. His fridge and pantry were empty, so when he left for his first therapy session, he dropped by the supermarket first.

As he was leaving the store, he got swarmed by paparazzi.

"Bill Denbrough!" One called, "is it true that your husband killed himself?"  
"How are you coping?"  
"How do you know Richie Tozier?"  
"When was Stanley's funeral?"  
"What did you wear to the funeral?"  
"Is he really dead?"  
"How are y-"  
"Stop!" Bill yelled, "Stan is dead, is that what you want to fucking know? Leave me alone."

Bill climbed in his car and slammed the door shut. He quickly stuck the key in the ignition, put the car in drive and speeded straight out of the parking spot. The paparazzi had to move out the way or they would've been hit by his car. He slammed down the accelerator and drove at lightning speed down the road trying to get away. He looked in his rear view mirror to see the paparazzi following him. He turned down side streets and weaves between cars.

_"Slow down, Billy. You're going to get hurt."_

Stanley's voice filled his head. Bill's eyes widened, but he didn't slow down.

_"I don't want you where I am when you're too young."_  
"You were too fucking young, Stan. Don't give me that bullshit," he muttered to himself.

That's when he saw it. Out the corner of his eye, Stanley was sitting in the passenger seat. He turned fully to see the ghost of his husband strapped in next to him. He was wearing the same outfit Bill had last seen him in. Long stone coloured pants, a brown belt and a pale blue long-sleeved shirt tucked in his waistband. A navy blue Yamaka clipped to the back of his hair, his curly dirty-blond hair hanging loosely by his ears and black watch around his wrist. The longer he looked at the wrists the more and more cuts he saw. Red lines forming all the way up Stanley's arm as tears filled the figures eyes. The blood soaked through the shirt and dripped onto his stone coloured pants, but Bill couldn't turn away.

_"Slow down, Billy."_  
"You're not real," he whispered.  
_"Be careful."_  
"You're not real," he said in his normal voice.  
_"If you don't stop the car, you'll kill us both."_  
"You're not real!" He yelled.  
_"Stop before you kill yourself!"_  
"How is this any different to what you did?"  
_"I told you, I never left! Stop the car, Bill!"_

The figure faded into the chair and Bill turned back to face the road to find he had ran a red light. He turned his head back to the now empty chair to see a car speeding at him. His eyes widened and he pressed himself against the drivers door as he helplessly watched the car grow larger. He heard a loud crash, felt glass pierce his skin and then everything went black.


End file.
